


Let Go

by Captain_Panda



Series: Cap'n Panda's Whumptober 2020-21 [13]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Post-Iron Man 3, Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hugs, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Steve Rogers, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Whump, Whumptober 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:01:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28472070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Panda/pseuds/Captain_Panda
Summary: Let go of the past; hold onto the present.An easier-said-than-done proposition in Tony's world.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Cap'n Panda's Whumptober 2020-21 [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953019
Comments: 10
Kudos: 42





	Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> Happy New Year, champs.
> 
> May this little glass of champagne tide you over until our next, new adventure.
> 
> Yours affectionately,  
> Captain Panda

Peace was like a stranger in Tony’s home. There were areas of respite. His lab provided sanctuary. Yet there was an air of great discomfort surrounding Tony, himself, most of the time. The fear was like a shadow, clinging vigilantly to his back. He could not see it, but he could feel it, taunting him, terrorizing him.

At some late hour, it became difficult to avoid the darkness. The memories were always stronger at night. The human spirit dreaded darkness and endings.

Cautiously, he searched for the source of his unease. In his search, he became cold and lonely. He became distant from himself. Unsteady mechanic’s hands must have belonged to someone else. The cold sweat dampening his shirt must have been generated by a fearful animal. His fast-beating heart must have been a metric for real danger.

A metric for real danger—a metric for real danger a metric for real danger a metric a metric a metric—

A cold hand gripped his own collar. It was the universal sign for choking. What was the universal sign for drowning? Was it nothing at all, as the body slipped quietly below the surface? Would anyone around him even notice if he did not surface for several hours, minutes, seconds?

Someone nearby, warm, and familiar asked, “Tony?”

That was a question. He had no answer for it. _No, I’m not okay, can’t you see?_ chased its own tail around his mind. He held onto the collar of his shirt. He was not choking, but he _was_ drowning.

“Hey,” said the same, soft, comforting voice. “S’okay.” A warm arm settled around his waist. Drew him close. “Why don’t you come here?”

Why didn’t he? He huddled closer to the lighthouse of warmth. “That’s it,” Steve encouraged, wrapping both arms around him. “I’ve got you.”

He did. Steve had him. Tony was drifting in deep ocean water, but Steve had him, keeping him from going under.

“I’ve got you,” Steve affirmed, steady on his rock. “We’re safe here, Tony.”

Steve saying it made it so.

For a long time, they drifted, unaccosted, without cause. Tony knew his fear was unwarranted. There was never any smoke to the fire, never any reason to fear for his life. All the danger was behind him. But his body remembered. His body did not forgive so easily.

“I’m sorry,” Tony said.

“You’re so loved, Tony,” Steve said, answering a different, never-spoken question. He squeezed gently. Tony trusted those arms with his life. “So—so much, to me.”

Steve’s heart beat proudly, almost loudly, in his chest. Tony leaned his cheek against it, savoring the sound. It conjured something timeless, something more than champagne and promises. It was the tempo that the ring on Tony’s finger promised would be there today, tomorrow, and forever.

“Come on. Let’s go,” Steve encouraged, gentle or unaware of or simply unfazed by the late hour, leading him. “I’ll hold you,” he promised. “I’ll hold you.”

And he did. 

Slowly, Tony breathed again.


End file.
